There are some things for which there are no words. Some things that happen that are just so preposterous that any explanation will forever fall short of their true absurdity. This is one such case.
In a recent happening that, all things considered, should surprise absolutely no one, a TikToker turned his hotel room toilet into a sous vide machine. And that, it seems, is only the beginning of this chef’s talents. The self-proclaimed “Bathroom Chef” is filling a request absolutely no one made in his tremendously popular TikToks, featuring his cooking talents from his apparent favorite room, the John.
While we must give the man points for originality and shock value (not to mention an idea that is sure to be a social media hit), it should go without saying that the whole thing just seems a bit, well, gross. To be fair, his meals do come out looking tasty. That is if you can somehow convince your brain to forget the — for lack of a better term — shit show you’ve just witnessed.
In this particular video, our Chef de Commode whips up a sous vide steak and potato dish using the essentials — a hot plate, a tin bucket, a toilet, and what appears to be an old pizza box. (Because, of course.) Added tools and ingredients include individually wrapped butter packets as well as several hotel room coffee creamers.
The whole thing is very familiar. Remember Kramer making dinner from his shower? This strikes that familiar chord. And while many things have changed since that famed Seinfeld scene, our reactions to the idea of a bathroom quickfire have not. The reason that hilarious episode is so great is because of its absurdity, not because Kramer was really on to something.
Don’t get us wrong. We’re not blind to the caricature this person is trying to make of himself. The pearl-clutching reaction he’s undoubtedly seeking is indeed being had. And we also have to give points for the fact that he recognizes that sous vide steak is, indeed, a fantastic way to cook meat. (We just, you know, prefer the sous vide machine.)
It’s true, the Bathroom Chef does appear to have some culinary talents up his sleeve. And cooking in the bathroom may very well be a useful skill in some futuristic, apocalyptic world in which we’re held prisoners with only a toilet and a sink for comfort. But for now, we’ll stick to the kitchen.
In the words of one TikTok commenter — just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
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